Daddy Dom 101.

So your significant other has let slip that they’re a little.

So what does that mean? Well it mean different things to different people. Broadly people who identify as littles like regressing into a child like state. This could be an infant age (baby), or it could be a young child (little). It can be an early teen (middle), and each type is slightly different.

They enjoy activities that fit into being a child. Things like:

  • Colouring
  • Playing games
  • Playing with stuffed animals (stuffies),

They also may enjoy wearing more age appropriate clothing. Things like:

  • Onesies
  • Cute dresses
  • Diapers

So the first job is asking your significant other to explain what age they identify as and then what things they like doing.

Now DDLG stands for Daddy Dominant, Little Girl. So the next steps are to identify what sort of domination does your little want and need?

This diagram explains several different types of little (there are more and mixes of each but this is a good starting guide):

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Ask your little how they identify using this as a discussion starter.

So the next section covers the bare basics of being a daddy dominant.

Rules

Rules are the first place to start. I’ve written separately about rules here. Every dominant of every creed understands the importance of rules and setting boundaries. As a daddy dom, the importance of rules is two fold; they set expectations, and asserts your control.

As a daddy dom you should set rules clearly and ahead of time. Formalise them and be strict in enforcing the rules. You may allow warnings for minor breaches of rules, but sometimes you will have to punish your little for breaking your rules.

Punishments

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So when your little breaks the rules, and you’ve made the decision to punish them, you can choose the punishment, you can give them options, or you can leave the punishment up to chance.

Ultimately you are responsible for carrying out the punishment but also ensuring any punishment is within the bounds of your partners limits. They have placed their trust in you and you are responsible for their welfare. Permanent harm or risk to their life or wellbeing isn’t acceptable. Keep punishments safe, sane and consensual.

Aftercare

Aftercare is something everyone needs to understand and practice in any BDSM activity. For any BDSM session, it is imperative that the dominant check in with the sub regularly during and again after the session. What you are looking for after the session is symptoms of sub drop.

What is sub drop?

The best way of describing sub drop is understanding what happens in your brain during intense experiences like a bdsm scene. When you experience pain adrenaline kicks in, endorphins and other chemicals flood your brain to help you push through the situation, avoid the threat, or take the hits. Normally your brain drips a steady flow of these chemicals through your system throughout the day to get you through the regular pains and incidents you experience each day. Having flooded your system with these chemicals your brain can become deficitent. This deficiency can last a few hours or even a week.

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So how do you spot sub drop?

Things to look for are:

  • Mental and physical exhaustion
  • Confusion
  • Insecurity
  • Loneliness
  • Feelings of depression
  • Physical tremors

So knowing this can happen you need to create a safe and comfortable environment. Have some water available to drink. Share a caring cuddle. Stroke hair and tell your submissive how much you love them and are proud of how well they did. Wrap them in a blanket as often their body temperature can drop and they need to be comfortable and warm.

Why do we do aftercare?

So aftercare is provided to allow the sub to anchor to it, so when they recall the session they can remember how much they are loved and cherished. It is important to remind your little all the time that they are special and loved, but especially when they are vulnerable.

I have received calls from submissives days later in tears because something unrelated happened and their brain told them I (as their dominant) hated them. Now I reminded them of the aftercare session, and reiterated how much I cared. Having identified it as sub drop we talked it through and all was once again good with the world. But having that aftercare session allowed us to anchor her mind and understand what was happening to her.

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Conclusion

Having read this far you now have a clearer understanding of what sorts of things to discuss with your partner. Ultimately that discussion should be the starting point to many more discussions and fun filled days.

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